If only BOFH: the Movie could get made
Brian Kelsay
bkelsay at comcast.net
Mon Sep 8 18:48:03 CDT 2003
Bastard, The Movie.
Title "A few good simms"
Starring Nicholson as The Bastard Operator From Hell..
Bastard: "You want answers?"
Boss: "I think I'm entitled to them!"
Bastard: "YOU WANT ANSWERS?"
Boss: "I want the truth!"
Bastard: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Son, processes live on a system that has finite resource. Resources
guarded by people with System Admin experience! Who's going to look
after that system? You? The support guy who drools so much he has a drip
tray?
I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
You weep for lost sessions and curse system admins - you have that
luxury! You have the luxury of not knowing what I know - that session
killing, while tragic, saves resource - And my existence, while
incomprehensible and expensive to you - saves resource!"
You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't like to
talk about at user group meetings, WANT me on the system - you NEED me
on the system!"
We use words like "I/O wait", "Pagefaults", and "CPUtime", as a backbone
of a life spent sorting out user-caused problems. You use them as a
cop-out for downtime at Management meetings.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a
person who connects and disconnects under the very blanket of the very
performance I provide, then QUESTIONS the manner in which I provide it.
I'd rather you left a nice message with the helldesk.
Or read a linux admin manual and checked out the performance monitors.
Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you are entitled to!"
Boss: "Did you kill -9 the Database Server?"
Bastard: "I did my job - I kept the system running!"
Boss: "Did you kill -9 the Database Server?!"
Bastard: "YOU'RE GODDAM RIGHT I DID!"
More information about the Kclug
mailing list