humor for the tax-protest crowd

[zscoundrel]

Don't laugh!  With a slight modification this could be your notice to 
report from the draft board!

david nicol wrote:
> 
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Subject:
> [wordup] It seems more plausible
> From:
> Adam Shand <adam at personaltelco.net>
> Date:
> Thu, 23 Jan 2003 11:33:03 -0800
> To:
> wordup <wordup at lists.spack.org>
> 
> 
> Via: Herr Nagengast <todd at gnosh.net>
> 
>> IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED :
>> HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
>>
>> FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
>> 202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111
>> FAX: 202.456.2461
>>
>> DEAR SIR / MADAM,
>>
>> I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER
>> PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
>> GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY
>> SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
>> OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU
>> BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON
>> NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF
>> YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE
>> PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS
>> TRANSACTION,  WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A
>> HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING
>> MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.
>>
>> I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE
>> PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN
>> ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY
>> TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS
>> AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A
>> TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN
>> ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN
>> THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS
>> COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES
>> CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
>>
>> IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES,
>> MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE
>> UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK
>> WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE
>> REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE
>> SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC
>> OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON
>> FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI
>> PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL
>> REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE
>> OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH
>> SUBSIDIARY.
>>
>> MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF
>> KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S.
>> DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST, THIRTY-SIX
>> BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY
>> HIS PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA
>> AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND
>> SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY
>> GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER
>> IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF
>> THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.
>>
>> MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE
>> IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF
>> THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE
>> PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION
>> FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER.
>> UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT
>> WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS
>> NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE
>> MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION
>> DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000),
>> BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN
>> LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.
>>
>> WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991
>> PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO
>> ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ.
>> THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES
>> ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE.
>> OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS
>> BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING
>> VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
>> OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS
>> AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE
>> AND FORMER HEAD OF THE HALLIBURTON OIL
>> COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE
>> PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE
>> VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING
>> OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.
>>
>> I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM
>> EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT
>> (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR
>> ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE.
>> THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE
>> UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION
>> AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE
>> THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE
>> THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF
>> APRIL.
>>
>> I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE
>> WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND
>> WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL
>> WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD
>> STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED,
>> I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT
>> THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL.
>> IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE
>> IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR
>> INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER
>> DISCUSS THE MATTER.
>>
>> I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT.
>> MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE
>> FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY
>> IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO
>> THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.
>>
>> SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,
>>
>> GEORGE WALKER BUSH
>>
>> Switchboard: 202.456.1414
>> Comments: 202.456.1111
>> Fax: 202.456.2461
>> Email: <mailto:president at whitehouse.gov>president at whitehouse.gov
> 
> 
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>