Well, it's almost 3:00 AM, I've drank a six-pack of Dr. Pepper, pulled 
some more hair out and I finally got my new DSL line working. W00t!

In case anyone was wondering, PPPoE is such a pain in the ass. If you 
have the extra bucks per month, I would go with 1500/1500 
Symetrical/Bridged/Router/Static DSL versus  this cheaper 128/1500 
Asymetrical/PPPoE/Dynamic stuff. Did I mention that SBC is surprising 
Linux friendly?